I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
