He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
