I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
