There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i think my cat just said my name.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
