I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize