So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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