Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
