think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
