Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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