Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
