Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I think I just sharted jello shots
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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