so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
