About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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