so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
