Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
