Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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