we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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