how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
