Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
