8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
