the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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