Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
