So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
