I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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