At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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