His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She's the barista slut.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
