She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
