Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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