The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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