I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
