Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
