I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
