Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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