All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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