I just cut my nipple shaving
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
