sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
