Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
