I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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