Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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