Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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