We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
