i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
