Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
