nut hugger
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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