Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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