I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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