i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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