i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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