Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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