I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
